


Any Other Way

by goroakechiofficial



Category: Persona 5
Genre: And Failing, Angst, Boys In Love, Breaking Up & Making Up, Denial of Feelings, Emotional, Fluffy, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Kissing, LGBT, M/M, Moving On, Sweet, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 04:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17676416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goroakechiofficial/pseuds/goroakechiofficial
Summary: This was what was best for them, that's what he convinced himself of, so why, months later does he still feel like leaning over the counter and pressing their lips together like nothing changed? Why does he still look at him with all the stars in the world? And why does he feel so heartbroken by the thought that Akira could possibly fall in love with someone else?





	Any Other Way

Their friendship was questionable at best.

At first, it was a tad awkward, anger still lingering from the breakup, negative emotions still swirling around them and consuming them, but they got through it, they always got through it, or at least Goro used to think that until it all ended.

They dated for six years, starting when Akira was a second year and going through his college career. They were both so sure that they would get married to each other, love each other, and be with each other through the entire life. That didn’t come to fruition though, fights broke out, over the stupidest things… Money, it was always money, how they were out of college and they could barely afford to survive in their cramped apartment. Anxiety broke out in Goro’s head, needless paranoia wondering if Akira even had feelings for him… Desperately believing that he could do better.

So he left him, with tears streaming down his face and shaky hands and immense regret he broke up with him… And unknowingly broke both of their hearts. After a month of no communication, Akira sent him a few photos of Morgana in hopes of starting a friendship… Goro, being heartbroken and lonely accepted each one.

Akira moved back in with Sojiro, his former caretaker during high school when his parents shelled him out after… Some particularly bad circumstances. He found work there as well, he balanced between working at the cafe to pay his part of the rent and working at a local bookstore for some cash on the side while he looked for a full-time job. Goro found a much smaller apartment that he could afford just a little while away, far from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo. He found a job using his degree in English as a copy editor for a small news organization. It wasn’t anything amazing, but he was living.

So here they are now, on opposite sides of the counter, the smell of coffee lingering in the air and the sound of water gently boiling in preparation to make another batch of curry. It almost felt natural what they do now, almost every evening when he could Goro visited Akira at Leblanc to enjoy conversation, some coffee, and the occasional curry.

The curry was always hard to swallow… It reminded him of laughter, soft kisses, hands on his waist as they cooked together, hand on his thigh as they ate together… Next to each other…

He never had to force the smile that blessed his thin lips when he saw Akira, especially when he was working hard, charming customers and making the next batch of gourmet coffee… Yet even more so when no one was here, when it was just them, smiling and laughing, talking as…

As friends.

Goro always feels a spike of pain when he repeats that in his head. This isn’t his. It can’t be. He made that choice. It’s for the better.

So when Akira waves goodbye to a faithful customer and turns those grey, shining eyes towards him and graces him with a smile he swallows his emotions and he smiles back.

As a friend.

 

. . .

 

Sometimes he would help Akira close up the shop, rinsing coffee cups and empty plates, placing the useable ingredients back in their rightful place and throwing away what they had too. Sometimes they had to stop by the neighborhood supermarket when they desperately needed something. Despite Akira’s numerous apologies and statements of how boring this probably was for him, Goro never minded.

He actually really liked it.

Today was one of those days where they had to pick up a few things. When they ran out of things the responsibility was on Akira… Boss usually went home in the afternoon due to Akira knowing how to run the shop.

The picked up rice, apples, and a few sauces they were out of. Akira mentioned that they would never run out of all the love he put into each dish.

Bags in hand, they set them down in the small cooking area, cramped together they sorted them out, skin brushing, barely talking, Goro knew what to do now. Sometimes Akira joked he was better at his job then he was himself.

They slipped upstairs after they were done, as they usually do on days like this. It was dusty but it was comfortable, it was something Goro knew, where he spent almost every day after school in during third year. He loved the attic.

Akira smirked as he picked up a video game… An unfamiliar title, Goro smiled back, he loved these nights, yes he did, where he could spend hours trying to beat Akira at video games. He usually was the first to fail but he always tried and tried until he got there.

Akira set it up and Goro pulled up a wooden chair while Akira sat on the bed comfortably, he handed Goro a controller and it was back to skin brushing, smiling, and distracted thoughts until the load up music blared obnoxiously.

“Ow! Sorry!” Akira said quickly while he turned the sound down as Goro scrunched his face and covered his ears. Akira looked at him apologetically and Goro waved a dismissive hand.

“No harm was done.” He said softly, Akira seemed to be made content with that and pressed the play button.

It was some Space Invaders style game, he couldn’t complain, it was an old console after all. Goro would beat him at it anyway… Eventually.

Akira giggled only five minutes later when Goro protested his lost.

“Hey! That’s not right, I want to go again.” Goro pouted and Akira smiles.

“It’s not my fault you don’t know how to play video games.” Akira shot back, raising an eyebrow at him and Goro almost flushed with embarrassment.

They played again, and again, and again.

Goro almost missed the last train home.

 

. . .

 

Akira has a heart of gold.

He’s warm, kind, charming, quiet, and soft. He doesn’t say much at all, but when he does it’s like music to the ears. He’s always wanted, romantically and platonically, and it’s understandable why.

He always seems so happy, so happy to work, to learn, to talk, to just be alive. He always seems so willing, so willing to be selfless, to listen, to help. He always seems so… Perfect.

But he’s suffering on the inside.

Every time a customer flirts with him it hurts because there’s someone with hazel eyes that he rather flirt with him instead of the more likely scenario of Akira flirting with him and the other flushing and mumbling words of how he should really keep those thoughts to himself while they’re out in public.

He never got the chance to talk, it was always about everyone else. The only person he could bring himself to cry near was… Goro. The only person he could bring himself to talk to was Goro. Now he doesn’t have that… When he’s without him he’s so sad, so dead, so lonely. He forces smiles, he embraces his friends, but it’s not enough. It’s not romantic. It’s not soft kisses against his skin or warm baths together or cooking together or dancing when their both tipsy at home or the hundreds of other things he wishes he still had.

He never got the chance to convince him to stay.

Goro just left.

His phone buzzed and he slipped it out of his pocket to check it, with a sigh he saw a message from a newly found friend asking for a date to a coffee shop.

Because that’s totally where you ask the person who works at a coffee shop.

‘I’d love too! Maybe Saturday at 3 before I work?’

He didn’t want the agree but at this point he was so desperate for belonging, for sweetness, affection, and love, that he didn’t care who it was from, even if it hurt him so much that it wasn’t from him.

 

. . .

 

His friend was nice, they messaged back forth throughout the week, but that’s all it was, it was nice.

Frankly, he was a tad boring. He mostly talked about school, Akira liked school when he was in it, but come on, their trying to date, flirt, or make a joke, or something that’s… interesting.

Goro was always on the serious side but he reacted to flirting and innuendos so cutely, by blushing deeply and looking away. After a while, he would do it back but in a shy way, he would talk for hours about fantasy and Featherman and he would go on about his writings and the weather and just… All these things Akira loved. But he loves anything escaping Goro’s lips.

Honestly, he didn’t feel anything towards this boy, but it didn't matter. He was a distraction. A distraction from messaging his ex-boyfriend every two minutes.

He would just have to live with it.

 

. . .

 

_“You’re doing just fine…” Akira mumbled against his ear as he places his hands gently on his waist. It would be just like him to try and distract him when he’s focusing on something pressing, that being the curry he’s almost done making…_

_He was never good at cooking, or anything in that matter. Goro was as unorganized as could be, his cooking skills were questionable, his baking skills were worse, and his cleaning… He tries._

_“I would be better if you didn’t distract me.” He gave the curry a quick stir before placing the lid on the pot, turning around to face his boyfriend. A had moved up to pinch his cheek playfully._

_“Can’t help it when you look so- Hey!” He swatted the pinching hand away with a laugh, looking up at his very pretty, very tempting boyfriend. “When you look so cute.” He finally finished._

_Goro smiled softly and leans in for what was supposed to be a quick kiss but ended up going a little longer than planned when Akira presses into him, chest against chest, lips firmly against lips, and soon they both forget all about the curry along with the danger of pressing against a stove when there is a hot pan sitting… Right there…_

_Akira swipes his tongue against his lips and despite Goro’s better knowledge and recuperates, accepting the invitation for a kissing session. Akira’s hands wander to the top of his thighs and Goro’s move to wander his chest, letting his fingers admire the hard muscle of his boyfriend's body._

_Goro leans back to relax, pulling one arm away as the other goes up to pull at his hair needing. The other moving back a bit too quick, too impulsively and hitting the hot pan._

_“O-Ow!” Goro pulls away from his boyfriend who immediately tries to pull him back in closer. Not in a sensual way though, in a much more protective embrace, one to get him away from the source or the pain and examine the wound created by the heat._

_“Shhhh…” Akira shushes, turning off the stovetop and pushing the pan to the side before gently taking his arm in hand, examining his elbow. He kisses his lips softly in a comforting gesture before pulling back and smiling. “It’s alright, let’s get you some ice and you can sit down while I finish.”_

_He smiles back softly and he knows he’s found his home._

 

. . .

 

“I’m going on a date.”

There was a time in his life where the most impactful five-word sentence Akira ever told him was I’m in love with you.

And now it’s this.

Goro tensed, his throat felt like it was going to close, thank god they were alone because he didn’t know if he could keep in the hot tears for long, just long enough that he could escape.

“A-Ah, I see, good for you.” He stuttered, already drowning his cup of coffee. Akira looked confused at the sudden rush but Goro… He couldn’t handle this. He felt anger, betrayal, and most of all just… Broken.

“Hey, Goro, what’s wrong?” Akira said softly, reaching out to touch his hand. He wouldn’t be upset by this… Unless… “Do you want me to cancel it?”

Suddenly Goro pulled back and stood up. “No! Why would I care about that?” He snapped. “I don’t care about who you’re with or what you do… O-Or anything.” He finished brokenly as tears fell down his face. “God, I hate myself, this is embarrassing… Just… No. Go on your date and just forget about me.”

Akira blinked before speaking with hesitation. “Hey, honey, it’s okay, you can feel this way, it’s fine just… Just talk to me, okay?”

Goro shook his head. “No… No I’m sorry, it’s fine, this was dumb, being your friend was dumb, thinking I would be okay is dumb, loving you is dumb, everything is so stupid. I-I’m going home.” He said suddenly, picking up his briefcase and heading towards the door. He hears a flurry of wait, let’s talk about this but nothing happens. He just… Leaves.

And Akira is left there, utterly confused.

 

. . .

 

Akira cancels the date.

Of course, he cancels it. He knows his ex-boyfriend like the back of his hand and he knows how bad he is at just sitting down at communicating. After so many years, he knows what’s wrong.

And he’s selfishly glad he’s upset about it.

There has to be some amount of feelings there for Goro to feel this upset about it, which makes him happy, because it gives him hope, gives him hope that they still have a chance.

 

. . .

 

He hasn’t had a visitor in… God, he didn’t even know how long. It’s not like he had that many friends, anyone who did want to talk to him usually planned something outside, maybe at a bookstore or some dining area, it was never at his apartment.

Which is exactly why he wasn’t shocked when he opened a door to a frazzled looking Akira Kurusu. It’s been about four days since their little conflict and three days since the date (he wasn’t sure why he kept counting, he didn’t need to keep counting, it isn’t any of his business) and they haven’t spoken a word to each other. He assumed Akira was waiting for him to make the first move… Maybe he got impatient.

Whatever, Akira was shivering and that’s all that mattered right now. He wasn’t going to let a man die from the cold. He leaned in and grabbed the others arm, pulling him in gently into his warm apartment and looking at him sheepishly. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t have come here, especially with how late and cold it is, the trains will stop working soon…”

Was that his motive? To come so late Goro would be forced to let him stay?

“I’m sorry… It’s just, I was worried about what happened, you won’t answer my messages, so I decided this was the best thing.” Akira said softly, immediately feeling himself warm up in the new space.

“Okay, I’ll start some tea for us and you can sit down and relax and get warmed up.” Goro said, letting go of him and feeling almost disappointed he couldn’t just grab his hand, bring him into his embrace, drink hot chocolate, and watch a movie in a warm bed…

“Thank you.”

As Goro walked to the kitchen he couldn’t help of think of when he was burned and Akira finished making dinner after nursing his wound and letting him relax on the couch. He suppose he was repaying the favor.

He made them some simple green tea with honey and a little lemon. It was something he tries to take the luxury in every night. It’s a relaxing tea that helps him not only perk up to finish any unfinished work he may have, but also unwind. He moved out of the kitchen with the two mugs, sitting next to him but still a respectable distance away.

“Here,” he said as he handed him the cup, the other smiled as he took it, breathing in the smell of tea, honey, and lemon. “So, what’s this about? Obviously it has something to do with what happened previously, but what of that brings you here?”

Akira glances at Goro’s hands, almost like he thought about touching them before bringing his gaze back to the others eyes. “I cancelled the date.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“Yes I did.”

“...Why?” Goro questioned, heart thumping wildly in his chest.

“You were upset, and I know what that means, why would you be upset if you didn’t hold feelings towards me? Or some sort of emotion towards our previous relationship? You said it was dumb loving me but not that it’s dumb that you loved me…” Akira trailed off. “Just please, be honest with your feelings, I want… Need to talk about this.”

Goro stiffened and nodded, looking away for a moment before looking back at him. “It’s just… By breaking up with you I did what I thought was best for us at the moment, but not in the long term, and now that you’ve moved on, and I can’t, and I’m still in love with you, it just hurts…” He trailed off, voice becoming shaky and filled with raw emotion as he spoke. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to become problematic.”

Goro honestly felt ashamed for the way he reacted before and ashamed of how he was acting now. He made his bed and now he had to sleep in it. This was on him.

Akira however had other thoughts, he leaned in and grabbed his hands, entwining their fingers and looking rather hopeful. “Moved on? Do you even hear yourself? You act like I don’t spend every moment wanting to message you, kiss you, anything… I thought you were the one who had moved on.”

Goro blinked, squeezing his hands like he would all those months ago and receiving a squeeze just like he would’ve… Oh… This was really happening. He was rendered speechless, glancing between his hands, his lips, and his eyes… Not sure which one he wanted to focus on right now. “You still like me…”

“More than like.” Akira confirmed, with that Goro scooted closer and moved towards the other boy. Neither of them was exactly sure what to do with their newly expressed feelings. Goro opening and closing his mouth, obviously conflicted with his words, and Akira just… Akira became impatient and decided to simply seal the deal instead. He moved in towards Goro, pressing lips together softly and his one unoccupied hand moving to lay against the others heated cheek.

Goro was more than okay with this, moving so he could sit in his lap. He didn’t want an inch separating them, he gave back everything he received, kissing him tenderly. His unoccupied hand moved to lay against Akira’s shoulder lazily.

Akira pulled back and smirked, charming as always. “So, permission to call you my boyfriend?” He teased, hand leaving the others so both of them may move to hold his waist.

“Of course.”

He couldn’t imagine it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work updated here and I hope you enjoy! Please leave any comments down below. Maybe I will add a small second chapter if I feel up to it. :)


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